1. NO ONE IS ABOVE THE MAN LAW. (THIS MEANS YOU, SUGAR!)

2. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO KISSING ANOTHER MAN TO SAY HELLO. NO EXCEPTIONS. IF YOU ARE ORIGINALLY FROM A COUNTRY WHERE THIS IS AN ACCEPTED FORM OF SALUTATION, SUCH AS RUSSIA, MAY WE SUGGEST YOU PRACTICE ONE OF YOUR OTHER FINE CULTURAL HABITS. . .SUCH AS STANDING IN LONG LINES FOR BREAD.

3. DO NOT TELL YOUR BUDDY YOU LIKE HIS SHOES OR NEW HAIR CUT. GAY. VERY GAY. JUST GO BUY THE SAME KIND OF SHOES AND ACCUSE HIM OF COPYING YOU.

4. DO NOT PAT ANOTHER MAN ON THE ASS. THERE IS A CONTACT SPORT ONLY ADDENDUM TO THIS RULE WHICH IS LIMITED TO EITHER GIVING OR RECEIVING A BONE CRUSHING BLOW.

5.USE THE FURTHEST AVAILABLE URINAL WHILE IN PUBLIC. FEEL LIKE CHATTING? THAT'S CODE FOR "I'D LIKE IT IN THE FART TACO." WHATEVER IT IS, IT CAN WAIT.

6.DON'T CALL YOUR SON HONEY, UNLESS YOU WANT TO GO TO HIS WEDDING IN BOSTON. FOGHORN LEGHORN SAYS: "THAT i say THAT'S A GAY JOKE, SON!"

7. NO C-BLOCKING YOUR BUDDY IF HE HAS BEEN ON AN OFFICIAL DATE WITH THE GIRL HE IS TALKING TO.

8.YOU MUST NOTIFY YOUR BUDDY OF A CHEATING WHORE GIRLFRIEND OR WIFE. NO EXCEPTIONS . YOU ARE SAVING HIM FROM A HOST OF DIFFERENT WARTS AND DISEASE. NOT TO MENTION A STICKY BUT FAMILIAR TASTE IN HIS MOUTH. (AHHH, SKEET SKEET.)

9.CROSSDRESSING. DON'T.

10.DO NOT NOTIFY ANOTHER MAN THAT HIS FLY IS OPEN, CAPTAIN OBSERVANT. UNLESS, THAT IS, IF THERE ARE MORE BUDDIES AROUND AND YOU CAN SEIZE THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHAME HIM.

11. NO SLEEPING IN THE SAME BED. NOT EVEN TO SAVE MONEY ON A TRIP AND YOU BOTH ARE FULLY CLOTHED. TAKE A NICE NAP IN ALL THAT DNA ON THE HOTEL ROOM FLOOR. SLEEP TIGHT! 

12.DO NOT SLEEP WITH YOUR BUDDIES EX. THIS IS CAUSE FOR IMMEDIATE DEMOTION TO ASSHOLE.

13. NEVER GO IN A MARRIED MANS HOUSE IF HIS WIFE IS HOME AND HE ISN'T. EVER.

14.WHAT HAPPENS WITH THE GUYS. . .STAYS WITH THE GUYS. PERIOD.

15.IF YOU WORK WITH ALL GUYS, DON'T WEAR COLOGNE.

16.DO NOT RUB LOTION / SUN TAN LOTION ON ANOTHER MAN'S BACK.  DUH.

17.IF YOU'RE NOT IN THE TROPICS, DO NOT ORDER A FROZEN DRINK, SUSAN.

18. DON'T ASK YOUR BUDDY IF YOUR CLOTHES MATCH. IF YOU HAVE TO ASK, YOU PROBABLY DON'T AND EVERYONE IS ALREADY USED TO YOUR LACK OF FASHION SENSE.

19. (FOR MARINES ONLY) GREEN P.T. SHORTS ANYWHERE ELSE THAN P.T. MEANS YOU'RE THE REASON FOR "DON'T ASK DON'T TELL."

20. PIZZA AND HOT WINGS ARE MEANT TO BE EATEN WITH FINGERS. PUT THE FORK AND KNIFE DOWN, NANCY.